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منتديات طلاب وطالبات جامعة الملك عبد العزيز منتديات طلاب وطالبات جامعة الملك عبد العزيز
قديم 31-08-2013, 02:03 AM   #5

LeLou

الصورة الرمزية LeLou

 
تاريخ التسجيل: May 2010
كلية: كلية العلوم
التخصص: PHYSIX
نوع الدراسة: إنتظام
المستوى: التاسع
البلد: جــــدة
الجنس: أنثى
المشاركات: 2,161
افتراضي رد: ~|| Let's check our writings :: لــنصــحـح كــتــاباتـنـــا ||~

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الــــدب مشاهدة المشاركة
Sometimes I have nothing to do. I think about taking a walk in the entire city, once a week. I like to walk alone, thinking about many things. There is nothing to write about. I just express my thoughts by writing it here, cause I want to improve my writing.
around

If you used to with like, it would be better not to use a gerund in the second clause.
So,it's better to say: 'I like walking alone, thinking about many things.'
or to be more accurate: 'I like walking alone while thinking about many things.'


I'm just expressing my thoughts by writing them here
And 'I have nothing to write about,' sounds more accurate.

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الــــدب مشاهدة المشاركة
Every thing in winter seems quiet, as I said in some of my poetry: I left you quietly without a word as quiet as winter nights. Although, there is one thing I hate about winter, the training in cold weather is so hard and painful.
Everything is one word; don't separate it into two words

And it's better to say:
In winter, everything seems quiet
or:
Everything seems quiet in winter.

I think you better revise that sentence which is marked with red.
I don't know why, but it doesn't sound quite right.

 

توقيع LeLou  

 

ZERO じゃない


...............................

سبحانك اللهم و بحمدك،، أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت،، أستغفرك و أتوب إليك..

::

 

LeLou غير متواجد حالياً   رد مع اقتباس