أصدقــاء للأبـد Friends 4 Ever

[Grotesque]

Greetings Shatha, indeed the poem is amazing thanx again

Why Stressed Women Talk

Under stress or pressure, a man’s brain functions of spatial ability and logic are activated. A woman’s speech function is activated and she starts talking, often non-stop. If she is stressed, she talks, talks and talks to anyone who will listen. She can talk about her problems to her friends for hours, giving a thorough report of details and then they all give the problem another post-mortem. She talks about present problems, past problems, possible problems and problems that have no solution. When she talks, no solutions are sought as she receives comfort and relief from process of talking. Her talk is unstructured and several subjects can be discussed at any one time with no conclusions being reached

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For a man, listening to her talk about problems is hard work because he feels he is expected to solve each problem she brings up as she talks aloud. He doesn’t just want to talk about it, he wants to do something about it! He likely to interrupt with, “what’s the point here?” The point is that there doesn’t need to be a point. The most valuable lesson a man can learn is to listen using listening sounds and gestures, and not to offer solutions. To a man, however, this is an alien concept because he only talks when he has a solution to offer

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When a woman refuses to accept his solution, his next strategy is to try to minimize the problems be telling her, “It doesn’t really matter” or “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not a big deal” This infuriates a woman who begins to feel he doesn’t care about her because he won’t listen
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(For a woman, sharing problems with her friends is a sign of trust and friendship)a

(When you’re dealing with an upset woman, don’t offer solutions or
invalidate her feelings, just show her you’re listening)a

Why Stressed Men Won’t Talk

A woman talks outside her head, that is, you hear her, whereas a man talks inside his head. He doesn’t have strong brain areas for speech to this suits his mindset. When he has a problem he talks to himself while she talks to other people. This is why, when under the pressure of problems or stress, a man will calm up and stop talking. He uses his right brain to try to solve his problems or find solutions and he stops using his left brain to listen or speak. His brain can only do one thing at a time. He can’t solve problems and listen or talk simultaneously. This silence is often distressing and frightening for a woman. A woman says to her husband, son and brother “Come on you have to talk about it! You will feel better!” She says this because this is what works for her. But he just wants to be left alone to firegaze until he comes up with some solutions and answers. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it, specially therapist, because he sees that as a major sign of weakness

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The famous Rodin sculpture “The Thinker” symbolizes a man thinking about his problems. He wants to sit on his rock and think about solutions and needs to be a lone to do it. They key word here is “alone” no one is allowed to go up on the rock with him, not even his best friends. In fact, his male friends would not even contemplate going up there. A women feels the urge to climb up there with him to give him comfort and she gets a rude shock when he pushes her off!! I Rodin created a sculpture to personify a woman, it would probably be called “The Talker”. Women need to understand that when a man is on his rock they need to leave him there and let him think. Many women feel that his silence means he doesn’t lover her or that he is angry with her. This is because if a woman wasn’t talking, she would be angry or upset. But if she leaves him on his rock with a cup of tea or coffee and doesn’t press him to talk, he will come down off his rock and feel happy and begin to talk again.