الرايتنج مجنني

[ابو فهد*]

Please, find attachment for updated argumentative essay. It is personal effort may I mistaken. All participant requested to review the attached file and send their feedback ASAP Caution: don't be impressed you will become expert from your mistakes

[رغد محمد]

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!!!!....Finally

I found someone who can correct my mistakes

Thank you so so so so much Mr. Fahad. Really I appreciate your hard work to correct my mistakes

You don't know how happy I'm. Now I know where my mistakes are.

?...May I ask you a Qs

?...How is my writing in general

?...Does it need to more and more to be professional

?...What is your advice to me

:and more one Q

:In my essay, I wrote

One benefit of the internet is doing homework, researching, or looking for information. For example, some people went to the internet to look for specific information, and they can find it easily.

:and you correct it to be

Other benefits of the internet are such as doing homework, researching, or looking for information. For example, some people use to the internet to look for specific information, and they can find it easily.

?...The red colors: why did you change the beginning to Others Coz it is the beginning of the paragraph and it is the first sentence of the essay

So, how can we say Others..? "And" the internet are such

I think we have to use a verb right

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:and in this one too

. Also, when you want to communicate with your family, especially for who travails out of his country to learn or live there, you can use the internet.

:You change it too

Also, when you want to communicate with your family, especially those who away from his country to learn or live there, they can use the internet

.

Ok... can we change his to their or not ...?? Coz you didn't correct it for me

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Again thank you for your time and correction, too

Thank you from my heart

Raghad Mohammed

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[رغد محمد]

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~...Hiiii dear ...Thank you for your supporting honey

You always with me <<

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،’yes of course it is needed to put "a " before names and names with adjectives like when we say in this e.g : he is a good man i rented a house .

I tought that too, but non of you said anything about it. THat's why I asked you. Thanks<

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amm in this part i put the "s' for two reasons : because u put the subject as a plural and the second thing that they need alot of time to do their homworks so it can't possibly to be just one homework or research and stay to do it all day long > don't u think so ?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Yes, I understand you dear its clear, but I meant (in word file when I write homeworks),it cames like this (home works) not homeworks, like its wrong word, and I want to know why? Maybe there is something I don't know about

?...See my point
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amm bythe way i attached my argumentative essay about the subject of the effect of tv on children .but i didn't have a chance to send it to the instructor to check it so please if there was anything wrong don't forget to inform me .waiting your notes about me .see ya my friend .

!!!....Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw exciting

I will look at it after lunch dear coz I have to go now

I'm sOoOoOo happy coz you give us this essay

See ya

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[رغد محمد]

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Hiiiii everybody

~....MaloOoOokah honey

~...I correct your essay, and I want to tell you something

!!!!...Your essay is amazing, wonderful, and perfect, too

~....Masha'allah Tabarak'allah

I like your writing coz it has lots of knowledege. Really I like it very much

I don't know what I can say accept

May Allah protect you and help you to atchive your dreams as soon as you can

The only mistake that I found in you essay is spaces

Look to your esaay and you will understand me

If you have any Q I'm here darling

See you soon dear

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[الملاك الأبيض]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة رغد محمد ،’ Hiiiii everybody ~....MaloOoOokah honey ~...I correct your essay, and I want to tell you something !!!!...Your essay is amazing, wonderful, and perfect, too ~....Masha'allah Tabarak'allah I like your writing coz it has lots of knowledege. Really I like it very much I don't know what I can say accept May Allah protect you and help you to atchive your dreams as soon as you can The only mistake that I found in you essay is spaces Look to your esaay and you will understand me If you have any Q I'm here darling See you soon dear ،’

hi raghoody happy to see your comment about my essay
first of all thnx for your correction i'm very proud to be corrected by such a friend as you.

and as belong to the spaces , i admit that i have a big problem with this thing because i mostly forget to leave any space or to put a comma , which is not good for my condition because i write long sentences and with out commas they become like a run-sentences .

second about your white sentence"While this saying have some merit on surface, however when children spend more than four hours daily on television"

what is the thing that u dn't understand ? i'm trying to convince the reader with this sentence ,because after u mention the opposite view of the argument u should to write some words or some kind of sentence to go back to your point and your view of the argument ,thats why i put this sentence in between .


thats it . thank u for your appreciative effort and i liked your notes ,looks like i'm gonna sent my persuasive essay in the next time hhhhh see ya dear .

[رغد محمد]

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~...Hiiii darling MaloOokah

hi raghoody happy to see your comment about my essay first of all thnx for your correction i'm very proud to be corrected by such a friend as you.

It's my honor to correct your essay dear. You don't know how important that is to me honey

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and as belong to the spaces , i admit that i have a big problem with this thing because i mostly forget to leave any space or to put a comma, which is not good for my condition because i write long sentences and with out commas they become like a run-sentences .

Yes, I notice that, but you have to practice more darling. It's not that hard. All what you have to do is to know where is the place that you can put a Comma or period. Masha'allah I notice that when you write a sentence, you write it very long. It is good thing, but you must put a comma or semicolon in you sentence to help the reader understand you honey

?...Do you understand my dear

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what is the thing that u dn't understand ? i'm trying to convince the reader with this sentence ,because after u mention the opposite view of the argument u should to write some words or some kind of sentence to go back to your point and your view of the argument ,thats why i put this sentence in between .

...I see you point

!!...Ok.. Look

Your sentence is

While this saying have some merit on surface, however when children spend more than four hours daily on television

You wrote however and when together. How can you put it together ...?? I don't think that we can join them together ?

Coz I felt this sentence is too complecated to understand

You may say :

While this saying have some merit on surface, .....etc you point

But you can't say however when togeter coz however need a comma after it even when need a comma after you complete the sentence

hhhhhhhhhhhh<< I feel like I make ffel like this

I mean your sentence will be like this :

While this saying have some merit on surface, however, when children spend more than four hours daily on television,.....etc

has lots os commas and non finished thoughts

??...Get it
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thats it . thank u for your appreciative effort and i liked your notes ,looks like i'm gonna sent my persuasive essay in the next time hhhhh see ya dear .

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Send whatever you want dear, the important thing is learning honey. So, send all you essays, and I will send main to have a party of essays

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

~...I'm not joking dear, send yours. I'm waiting

This is my Comparison essay tell me your points about it

See ya darling

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[ابو فهد*]

Good morning Raghad

Thank you for your appreciation words

my feelings as yours because I got a lot of benefit from you, too

okay, let's start with your first Qs

?...How is my writing in general

I can't evaluate you but I can say my opinion only, here I have to say the truth, your writing is perfect -by what does the word mean- because you still in the beginning and you have the chance to improve your language

?...Does it need to more and more to be professional

Yes, you need to practice more of reading to achieve sentnce building

?...What is your advice to me

My advice is to avoid a literal translation

how can we say Others..? "And" the internet are such

Other benefits (plural) and we should use( are )because (are) related to other benefits not to the internet. Ok, understood? If not let me know

can we change his to their or not ...?? Coz you didn't correct it for me

Yes, and CONGRATULATIONS you passed the hidden test. I left this obvious mistake to check your intelligence


Thank you again for giving me this opportunity to help you and it is in my pleasure to exchange interests with each others.

(don’t hesitate to ask anything)

[رغد محمد]

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Good evening Mr.Fahad

Thank you sOoOo much. I understood everything that you said it to me

Other benefits (plural) and we should use( are )because (are) related to other benefits not to the internet. Ok, understood? If not let me know

I understood you Alhamdullah, but you didn't understand my Q ..? I meant why did you put such as after are coz I think we need to put a verb, right?

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Yes, and CONGRATULATIONS you passed the hidden test. I left this obvious mistake to check your intelligence

!!!!...So, I'm intelligent

...Thak you sOoOo much big brother

You made me proud of myself



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Ammmmm

??...If I give you another essay will you correct it for me

>>

If you can't just say I can't. It's okay

Thank you again


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[ابو فهد*]

Good time, Raghad

I meant why did you put such as after are

because (such)is an adj. so, such comes after verb and before a noun or a noun that has an adj. in front of it. Please, see these e.g. from Oxford Dictionary

It was such a boring film that I fell asleep

It is such a lovely day


AMMMMMMMM

It is not sweet

So so sorry I can't say No because I want to learn more and more skills from intillegent girl like you

ok, send your essay tonight

Tomorrow morning I will reply, now I'm going outdoor

[رغد محمد]

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Thank you sOoOo much, sir

I didn't know that "such" is an adj ...!! I thought it is prepostion<< see how intellgent she is

I looked to the dectionary, and I found that "such" has a different meanings...!!! Its new thing for me

Thank you very much Mr.Fahad

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Okay, this is my Cause and Affect essay

I'm waiting for your correction and the others, too

My regards

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~....Rose
؟?....Where are you honey

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