the (perfect essay writing) competition

[Conscientious]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة MS.Fabulous back thank you soooo much con and english boy really i learned a lot from my mistakes con about your question you said that i should n't start with a dialogue we studied in our book something called a hook in the intro it is the most important thing in the essay and our teacher made us practice in it a loooot if you don't write a good hook you will lose a lot of marks this is the definition for the hook A hook is a sentence or group of sentences or a phrase in the introduction that "hooks" or draws the reader in. Basically it can be a question,quotation,statistics and a scenario like i did ^_* and writing a short essay it is a habit and my teacher always says that i write super fast in the exsams because of the time and this essay i wrote it fast because of the time also i was extremely busy yesterday i will work hard on your notes guys and i hope i will n't do these mistakes again well done teachers

Miss Fabulous i didn't say u shouldn't

be careful and go back to my speech

i said i'm sure if u can start with conversation coz it's new thing for me

right ?a

make sure that i'll always say something that i'm sure about i'll not correct things in a moody way

if i'm not sure about something i'll say u should or shouldn't

if i'm not i'll say i'm not sure

thanx Miss hope to back and see again

[MS.Fabulous]

yes i saw it now sorry for the misundrestanding^
^_^
i just wanted to till you why i started with a dialogue
thank you again
^_*
hope to see you too^^

[Suzi]

thnx Con You're really Great &English boy but eNGLISH perfect tHNX SOoO much ^^

[MS.Fabulous]

english boy i just saw the mark
thank you ^_^
the problem was i could n't come up with ideas

that is why it was too short
i know i can do so much better
but i learn a lot
thank you judges

[Conscientious]

Malak

try to avoid Run-on and fragment by using the proper punctuation between sentences

use the exact words and avoid the general ones like (better people = virtuous people )a

use also connectors between sentences like (for example, however ...etc)a

16

MS. Fabulous

the body shouldn't be in a form of paragragh actually the essay needs 2 pharagraghs at least . every one has its won main idea needs to be supprted by details

also be aware of parallelsim

13

Suzi

becareful of Run-on

prat of speech - use the adjectives , nouns, verbs in it's proper place like (determination = will- strong or determined also praying = prayer ) e

focus on ur thesis statement ! mention it in the intro , discuss it in the body and rewrite in a different way in the conclusion

be aware of using the propositions like (focus from = focus on )a

15

Ragad

be aware of fragment

don't use Coordinate Conjunctions( so , and , but...etc) at the beginning of the sentence but u can substitute them with the Subordinate Conjunctions ( Moreover - therefore - however ...etc )s

be aware of using (who- whom ) in its exact place

18


Note - if u are not convinced with anything of my correction please tell me i may mistake u wrongly


Good luck

[Conscientious]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Suzi thnx Con You're really Great &English boy but eNGLISH perfect tHNX SOoO much ^^

what do u mean by that

although i spent much time trying to explain every single mistake for u :(

[الفتى]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة English boy are u in the UK.. Oh man if u r close to Essex plz tell me, I really need sth from there plz find me on FB (assem hossen)a I've got to ask u for a favor

loooooool

I'm joking

[الفتى]

ok, who will correct my essay
?

[Conscientious]

i'll insha'a Allah

[الفتى]

Thanx Con

you are so helpful