the (perfect essay writing) competition

[MS.Fabulous]

the body shouldn't be in a form of paragragh actually the essay needs 2 pharagraghs at least . every one has its won main idea needs to be supprted by details

also be aware of parallelsim
got it and i agree with you
^_^

[Conscientious]

Miss i think if u details ur main ideas , u will be the winner

coz u don't have many mistakes masha'a Allah

but also i'm not sure that u will avoid Run-on or fragment coz ur essay was short and i don't know how it will be if it's long

[MS.Fabulous]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Conscientious Miss i think if u details ur main ideas , u will be the winner coz u don't have many mistakes masha'a Allah but also i'm not sure that u will avoid Run-on or fragment coz ur essay was short and i don't know how it will be if it's long one

con you know i was struggleing to find ideas with the details and in a moment i wanted to change the topic but i was busy and there is no time to choose something else
but in shaa Allah next time if we do this again i will impress you guys

[Conscientious]

الفتى

i corrected u according to english boy's corrction

i didn't look at fargment Run-on , thesis statments and all that stuff coz u have not studied that in Uni

ok

well done *_^

[Conscientious]

sorry al-fata

this is urs

and not to be confused

yellow = omitted words

red= ur mistakes

blue = correction

[الملاك الأبيض]

hi every body , actually I'm so thankful for all of ur efforts and especially our judges and teachers con and English boy u were professional in ur correction and we have so many benefits of our mistakes

though , i have my own notes about ur correction for my essay and i will clarify it for u to convince me with ur correction if i was wrong :

1- this sentence u get me so wrong in it :
This) is our situation for a the whole one month called Ramadan . Ramadan is the month of fasting .a month of and worshiping ,a month which unlike any other month of the year >> what i mean that i put"a" before the word "whole " because this month that I'm talking about is not identified yet. thats why i did n't put " the " like u did in ur correction
then i mentioned that this month is called "Ramadan " only then i could put " the " not "a"

2- with their relatives in Ramadan for break fast or for Sohoor and this thing(which) shows the closeness and the support between them >> this sentence i believe i should n't omit the word " with " because its making the meaning much connected

and the word "the" before "closeness &support "should stay to have better arranged sentence , other wise the meaning of this sentence won't be perfect



another thing , that i confess that i have so many run-on sentence which give disadvantages in my writing and i have to work on this part

and i have a repeated words in my essay and some silly mistakes cuz i was in a hurry , but no matter if i win or lose it was my pleasure to participate with u and to be corrected from a great teachers like u con and English boy it was an honor to me cuz i learned too many things from ur correction more than i learned from my centra teachers .and I'm looking forward to have another stage for this competition


and especially con i really thank u for ur great efforts with us may allah bless u all guys :)

[MS.Fabulous]

con,english boy
i will pray for you guys to become teachers
cus you make great teachers ^_*

[الفتى]

thank u Con

[English boy]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الملاك الأبيض hi every body , actually I'm so thankful for all of ur efforts and especially our judges and teachers con and English boy u were professional in ur correction and we have so many benefits of our mistakes though , i have my own notes about ur correction for my essay and i will clarify it for u to convince me with ur correction if i was wrong : 1- this sentence u get me so wrong in it : This) is our situation for a the whole one month called Ramadan . Ramadan is the month of fasting .a month of and worshiping ,a month which unlike any other month of the year >> what i mean that i put"a" before the word "whole " because this month that I'm talking about is not identified yet. thats why i did n't put " the " like u did in ur correction then i mentioned that this month is called "Ramadan " only then i could put " the " not "a" 2- with their relatives in Ramadan for break fast or for Sohoor and this thing(which) shows the closeness and the support between them >> this sentence i believe i should n't omit the word " with " because its making the meaning much connected and the word "the" before "closeness &support "should stay to have better arranged sentence , other wise the meaning of this sentence won't be perfect another thing , that i confess that i have so many run-on sentence which give disadvantages in my writing and i have to work on this part and i have a repeated words in my essay and some silly mistakes cuz i was in a hurry , but no matter if i win or lose it was my pleasure to participate with u and to be corrected from a great teachers like u con and English boy it was an honor to me cuz i learned too many things from ur correction more than i learned from my centra teachers .and I'm looking forward to have another stage for this competition and especially con i really thank u for ur great efforts with us may allah bless u all guys :)

I'll come back later to comment on these objections
right now my hand is so injured I fall down while playing football..

[English boy]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة MS.Fabulous con,english boy i will pray for you guys to become teachers cus you make great teachers ^_*

no no plz don't .. I always have hated to be a teacher! Alhamdallah I just have been accepted at Saudiairlines as a translator so I'm begging u not to mess that up with ur prayers lol