[Conscientious]

Malak

try to avoid Run-on and fragment by using the proper punctuation between sentences

use the exact words and avoid the general ones like (better people = virtuous people )a

use also connectors between sentences like (for example, however ...etc)a

16

MS. Fabulous

the body shouldn't be in a form of paragragh actually the essay needs 2 pharagraghs at least . every one has its won main idea needs to be supprted by details

also be aware of parallelsim

13

Suzi

becareful of Run-on

prat of speech - use the adjectives , nouns, verbs in it's proper place like (determination = will- strong or determined also praying = prayer ) e

focus on ur thesis statement ! mention it in the intro , discuss it in the body and rewrite in a different way in the conclusion

be aware of using the propositions like (focus from = focus on )a

15

Ragad

be aware of fragment

don't use Coordinate Conjunctions( so , and , but...etc) at the beginning of the sentence but u can substitute them with the Subordinate Conjunctions ( Moreover - therefore - however ...etc )s

be aware of using (who- whom ) in its exact place

18


Note - if u are not convinced with anything of my correction please tell me i may mistake u wrongly


Good luck