the (perfect essay writing) competition

[Conscientious]

Yellow = words that u have to omit
Red= ur mistakes
Blue= words I added

[Conscientious]

suzi

well done

this is yours

[Conscientious]

Ragooodah

well done

this is yours

[Conscientious]

English boy

about the marks let's set a date and a specific time, so we can insert them together to be more fair with members

what do u think of inserting them at 1:00 am today ?a

or at 2:00 pm tomorrow after aljuma'a prayer

it's up to u

btw , don't forget to put the mark out of 20 for every girl

[MS.Fabulous]

back
thank you soooo much con and english boy
really i learned a lot from my mistakes
con
about your question
you said that i should n't start with a dialogue
we studied in our book something called
a hook in the intro
it is the most important thing in the essay
and our teacher made us practice in it a loooot
if you don't write a good hook you will lose a lot of marks
this is the definition for the hook
A hook is a sentence or group of sentences or a phrase in the introduction that "hooks" or draws the reader in. Basically it can be a question,quotation,statistics and a scenario like i did
^_*
and writing a short essay it is a habit and my teacher always says that
i write super fast in the exsams because of the time
and this essay i wrote it fast because of the time also i was extremely busy yesterday
i will work hard on your notes guys and i hope i will n't do these mistakes again
well done teachers

[MS.Fabulous]

guys Alfata
is going to participate with us he send me a message let us wait for him

[English boy]

Malak

you should be aware of the following:

punctuation mark
find it online and be well-known of using each in the right place

repeating statements
u mentioned the same sentences several times . at least try to avoid using the same words, find synonyms, and paraphrase them

simple grammar errors
capital letters, articles, shaping

I give it = 16 out of 20

[COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]Suzi[/COLOR]

urs is not much different from Malak:


simple grammar errors
capital letters, articles, shaping

be selective with proper words

try while writing in English not think in Arabic then u translate!! this may confuses u

15 out 20


Fabulous

[/COLOR]
urs is quiet good but it has no sense of benefit

I mean only one paragraph is not quiet enough for argument !! u can do much better
rare mistakes but only one peace of info was mentioned in ur essay

only 9 out 20

[COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]Ragggad[/COLOR]

I have to be honest.. I really really was impressed of urs..

very good shaping, well-organized, only non-mentioned and rare mistakes

well done Raggad, I really liked what've done

this deserves 19 out of 20

[English boy]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Conscientious English boy about the marks let's set a date and a specific time, so we can insert them together to be more fair with members what do u think of inserting them at 1:00 am today ?a or at 2:00 pm tomorrow after aljuma'a prayer it's up to u btw , don't forget to put the mark out of 20 for every girl

seems I can't manage to meet at the same time!! I added my comments & results
u add urs then we can announce the winner

[الفتى]

I'm so sorry for late

this is my essay

as u know, my umbilical cord was cutted in UK

[English boy]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الفتى I'm so sorry for late this is my essay as u know, my umbilical cord was cutted in UK

are u in the UK.. Oh man if u r close to Essex plz tell me, I really need sth from there plz find me on FB (assem hossen)a I've got to ask u for a favor